Check off these 5 things to address conflict graciously

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt (Colossians 4:5-6)

Today’s passage points us to the 6th biblical principle for resolving conflict at work…

Principle #6: Address the Conflict with Grace that flows out of the grace you’ve been shown by Christ.

As we saw a few weeks ago, sometimes we’re called to overlook an offense. But when we sense God prompting us to address it, we must do so graciously. This includes grace in our motives, methods, and medium of communication.

First, motives. Our motive in addressing conflict is primarily to bless rather than blame, help rather than hurt, and serve rather than shame.

Second, methods. Sometimes Jesus addressed sin via methods that were sharp, direct, and public, like the time he overturned tables in the temple. Other times, he opted for methods that were gentle, indirect, and private, like the conversation he had with the Samaritan woman at the well. Similarly, Scripture calls us to adjust our methods based on what will bless and restore the person we’re in conflict with (see Titus 1:13 and 1 Timothy 5:1).

Finally, medium. When Paul “had no peace of mind” because of an unresolved conflict, he didn’t send a letter, but went to resolve the issue in-person (2 Corinthians 2:12-13). Similarly, John said he “would rather not use paper and ink” to share certain things (see 2 John 1:12).

Our motives, methods, and medium of communication all play a part in addressing conflict graciously. Now, let’s put those insights into practice. Throughout this series, I’ve been encouraging you to journal through how you will address conflict with a specific person at work. Pull open that note right now and work through these 5 steps.

#1: Review the plank in your eye you journaled a couple of weeks ago. And remember the grace and mercy Christ has shown you so that you can extend grace and mercy to the person you’re in conflict with.

#2: Write down the method of communication this situation calls for. Sharp or gentle? Direct or indirect? Private or public? Read Matthew 18:15-17 and pray for wisdom.

#3: Write down the medium you will use to address the conflict. Spoiler alert: I doubt God’s calling you to address it via email. In person is ideal. But if you work remotely, Zoom is a great alternative.

#4: Write down what you want to say (and don’t want to say) as clearly as you can. Sometimes writing down what I don’t plan to say is what best allows me to communicate with grace. 

#5: Write down when you will address the other person. The sooner the better for God’s glory, their good, and your peace!